day 276, about 50km north of Ca Mau

Another early start, a cloudy day for a change, Martha kicks second time and away we go. We elect to go out to 1a as we’re not convinced the road we’re on has bridges or a ferry. It’s a narrow road lined by banana trees and the sun is starting to burn through. We make good progress to Vinh Long, through to Than Lao and off toward Sang Tranh. We spot a sign for Ca Mau and folliw it, end up on a road called QLPH. After 3 and ½ hours on the bikes we stop off for lunch, order the headline dish from the sign and get laughed at. Out it comes and a mass of people have gathered to watch us eat and laugh. The food wasn’t that great plus I didn’t feel the included in the laughter, rather the cause. That and the food was shit and the coffee worse. We rushed the meal and thankfully Martha kicked first time as they were all watching and laughing and back on the road. About half an hour down the road something happens in my engine, something moves and it makes a horrible noise and stops abruptly. It did not sound good, it wouldn’t move and the kicker wouldn’t budge an inch. Michael drives off to find the nearest mechanic and three Vietnamese farmers stop to have a look at it. It’s fucked. Michael comes walking back down the road, he’s found a mechanic and he pushes me up the 500 metres. We’re greeted by the really friendly bloke and ushered into a hammock and given tea. There’s about twenty people all around under the shaded bamboo roof in hammocks and chairs chilling out, all smiling at us. After fifteen minutes the lead bloke beckons me and he pushes my bike through the tiny village to the mechanics. The mechanic starts dismantling it, five mins through and it’s clear it’s fucked. My new oil pump has stopped working and my piston has bashed my valve out of place and made mincemeat of my inner casing. It’s going to need an engine rebuild and the piston, valve and casing replaced. They quote me a hundred dollars and that it will take a day to fix, I don’t have any choice really. The bloke who pushed my bike over ushers us back to his house and does the sleeping gesture from charades. He’s quickly into a drawyer and picks out a folder and shows us pictures of a baby girl with a cleft lip. He then shows us and address in america and lassos one of the numerous kid running free and points to her. It turns out it’s his only kid, she’s about five, and the operation has done miracles. The bloke, whose name we find out is Minh through eloborate means, he doesn’t speak any English apart from “no!” or “ok”! He lives in a shack with a mud/concrete floor, through hand gestures and pen and paper he tells us that his wife left them, though he has family in three shacks around his. The kids are fascinated with us and are constantly coming and going. Three of them come round again and look nervously at us and start up a song;

“hello, hello, hello, my name is john
Hello john! Hello john! Hello john!
Hello! Hello! Hello!”

We then meet the grandma who’s ancient, she looks like popeye and has no teeth. There’s lots of smiles and touching. The kids then come rushing in with their English learning books and we go through them with the kids. It’s super basic stuff though you can tell they don’t understand what they’re saying, hence the ’Hello John’ song, which was a song to demonstrate how to say your name, and they gave the cartoon-ed man the name john, so they learnt the song as john instead of substituting their name in. The men come in, super excited and mime football, point to their watches and put five  finger up. Minh takes us round the side and pumps some water from the ground into a bowl and hands us some soap to wash, then back inside for the hammocks and read for a while. I’m still on The Tiger’s Wife. After a while Minh comes in and does the eating gesture, all three of us hop on his moped down the road to another shack for eating. Riding on his bike it starts to sink in how remote this place actually is, I don’t even know it’s name. Minh takes us round the back to the kitchen swarming in flies and points to offal and grean beans. We just smile and nod. Out comes this big plate of veg, offal and marinated pork on rice and it’s amazing. They bring out a case of beer and crack a few cans. There are also a few young women around and every time Minh points at them, raises his eyebrows and gives a cheeky grin and does, well ashamedly it can only be called the ‘pencil in the pencil sharpener’ hand gesture, he does this at every girl no matter if they are 14 or 40, and demands an answer. Five rolls around and we hop on motos and drive around 3km down the road, there’s not a lot around at all, just flatland, then out of no-where out pops a brand new 3g astro pitch. We’re met with looks of curiosity and smiles from the kids, all in English football kits and have a quick kick around with them then lots of high fives. The men kick them off and the proper game starts. It’s the blokes from Minh’s shack and us versus some teenagers, their pretty handy and Minh’s ramshackle bunch are proper shit. Within 3 mins it’s 5-0 so one of the kids swaps over and we start playing a bit of football and no longer one way traffic. Being almost on the Mekong it’s bloody muggy out and with the running I’m soaked through. We play for 2 hours and was great fun, I bloody missed football. Back on the ped’s to drive back to Minh’s shack, through the bugs and under the stars, have another bowl wash and out to the front hammocks under the bamboo roof. All the blokes do the sex gesture, the drinking gesture and point far into the distance. We just smile and shake our heads. It’s also amazing that they do this gesture and shout and point to their women and their women don’t seem to mind. They try and teach us a card game but it doesn’t make any sense. Another kid who knows the tiniest bit of English appears, reels off a couple of sentences to applause and is carted off again. Minh takes us the half minute across the road to the village for a nighttime drink, accompanied by equal staring and smiles. Green tea for me and Michael, coffee for him and his little five year old girl (who we guess thanks to her operation in US is treated like a princess here). It’s eight in the evening and this coffee is strong. We meet this teenager who is studying Finance at Ho Chi Minh and he speaks good English. We chat pleasantries for a while then Minh interrupts and it’s bedtime.  Back to the shack and we’re shown the sleeping arrangements, his shack consists of one room with a bit cordoned off, both of us are sharing a tiled table and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever touched, let alone slept on. It’s covered by a mossie net and a little fan. Minh leaves a hideous fluorescent light on and the little tv blaring away till sleep scuttles me away to a very on/off, hot/cold sweaty unforgettable sleep. I don’t know where I am and I’m relying on the kindness of strangers, it’s the most authentic Vietnamese experience yet, and while not the most comfortable, I’m happy I’m here.

dat 275, Mo Cay

Was a bit of a struggle to get out of bed this morning at seven, it was so nice in the air con’d room plus the bed and pillows were of a cracking standard. Nonetheless dragged myself up and packed, checked out of the room after a little faff with the passports (they couldn’t find them and wanted the reciept for taking them in, despite them having the carbon copy and we could see them in the box, it still took five minutes, was painful.) Anywho another lovely day, Martha still is whining about something or other though seems to run ok once she gets up to speed. It was a arduous chug along the 1a, a big bastard of a road with lots of trucks and buses. We were making good progress retracing our route which we took yesterday, reluctantly past the place where we stopped for lunch which served the best coffee so far toward Ho Chi Minh. It’s starting to sink in how far we have come on Martha and Martin, don’t know where it’s gone! On google maps we found a brand new road which wasn’t in our atlas which we went off in search for, ended up on a narrow brand new paved road through an orchard, which despite it not being the correct road was fucking amazing. We backtracked and resigned ourselves back to the 1a. We stopped off for lunch and had bun thi nuong plus a coffee, Michael reckoned the coffee was better then yesterdays, and the noodle dish was outstanding. Also, unfortunately I think, people down south are so much friendlier then those up north, you’re not a walking dollar sign or a pain, and they seem happy to see you which is always nice, smiles make the world go round. Back out to pound the road and as we encroach on HCMC you can smell the traffic, it comes out of nowhere and suddenly it’s a bloody slog of a drive.  Vietnamese moto riders love nothing more then overtaking someone and then just sitting in the space between you and the next person, however if there’s a clear road they just slow down and sit on the side, it’s so frustrating. After my two mishaps I’m being super careful. We opted for the route around HCM instead of through it, but it was still chock-a-block with trucks and bikes. It carried on with the busyness after HCM, and didn’t clear up till we got off 1a onto QL60. It was a tough three hours of riding, the sun was bloody hot, and in jeans, a coat plus my buff pulled up to the bottom of my sunnies to protect my sunburn I was melting. Luckily past HCM the sun took a break behind a big cloud, plus crossing over the Mekong a couple of times on what were damn impressive bridges it was cooling down. We went past Ban Tre and carried on going toward Tra Vinh, though that was too far away and settled for Mo Cay. Struggled to find a hotel in the small town, had to do three up and downs before seeing a Vietnamese sign for one down an alley, checked in with a room each as they only have double beds, Michael took Martin to get his gear shifter tightened, I showered and took a wander round town. Got a Banh Boo, a dumpling with quail eggs, some sort of berry/seed and minced meat, was brilliant before checking out the town. It’s full of people and not a lot in which is cool, people were shouting greeting from their houses while eating dinner and this girl who studied in Manchester for a bit came and spoke to me. Rendezvoused back with Michael and went scouting for dinner. We operate on the people power principle, and ended up at a one dish plastic table restaurant, had…sorry, no fucking idea what it was, though was really good. Had an ice cream and found a bar which was showing the Liverpool arsenal game, had a seat and a drink watching it chatting away. It’s strange that I feel more comfortable in this town and having a better time then in Mui Ne, which looking back on it was a bit of a disappointment, over developed (including onto the beach, which is supposed to be the focal point). Had a lovely time and back to the hotel to crash out. Tomorrow we are aiming to get as south as possible in Vietnam, another early start armed with my compass till we can’t get any souther!

Day 274, Mui Ne

Had nothing to get up for so didn’t, it was boiling hot yesterday so caved in and splashed out for the air con remote and toned it down to a fresh 17 degrees. Woke at leisure and somehow ended up watching Dickie Roberts, Former Child star… before having a look at what there is to do in Mui Ne and electing to go to Ta Cu mountain, about 50kms away. On the bikes (Martha still isn’t sounding too healthy) and find our way to highway 1a in search of the mountain. After about 50 clicks we had driven past a mountain though hadn’t seen a sign, so we stopped off for some lunch and a coffee (Caphe Sua Da in Vietnamese!) which was probably the best yet, got some directions and found it ten minutes later. Paid our monies, got in a little golf cart for a lift to the cable car (it’s a two minute cable car ride or 3 hour strenuous walk in the heat, cable car won). The cable car was really cool, similar to a ski lift one, though offered a brilliant view for miles and miles. Once done walked up the steep steps, turned a corner, up some more steps and we see this BBBIIIIGGGG Buddha lying down. It’s a new white (just been painted) and 49metres wide. Walk back down the steps, take the cable car down to the bottom, back on the bikes to ride back, stop off for a look-see at some boats and chill out in the pool reading a bit. In the evening go out for some dinner, have a really nice seafood meal with milk, back to the hotel to chill out and call it a night early as early start in the morning, hoping to get as south as possible toward Ca Mau, going past Ho Chi Minh.

day 273, Mui Ne

On the bikes by 8:45, another great day. Rode for an hour, then realised we missed our turn. We wanted to take the brand new road, we turned off more out of hope then expectation and it wasn’t brand new, it was still being built. It was 6km of stop and start, good road and no road, then we found out it was the correct road and the road got bloody good. Riding  through trees and past lakes, doing a mountain pass it offered one of the best and farthest views ever, I don’t think I‘ve seen further. We stopped for lunch, pointed to what two blokes were eating and smiled, then one of the blokes started talking to us. He was smashed, there was  the remains of a crate of tiger around the floor, and he spoke minimal English, had the usual conversation, name, where you from, what you do etc. He kept pestering us to a point of annoyance, though when it came to paying we got the money for the girl but he already paid her, outright refusing our protests, what a nice drunk bloke. Carrying on down Martha started whining about something, and started cutting out. Pushed it up hill to a mechanic who fiddled with it for 40mins, and she started again but is still whining. It was bloody boiling and I could feel my nose burning, despite my factor 50. Had a look at a couple of hotels, what used to be backpacker havens have all turned into resorts, so we end up at the first one. Straight to the shower and then the pool, for a bit of pool badminton, as good as it sounds. We take a walk for dinner, going down the strip of Mui Ne. not really a big fan, it’s supposed to be less of a resort town then Nha Trang, but it is full of neon signs, Russians and touts. Walk for ages down the street, end up at an Indian and have a very tasty meal, before walking the miles back and chilling out.

(again internet is shit but photos will come)

ay 272, Dalat

Treated ourselves to an alarm-free morning, leisurely checked out things to do in Dalat and opted for a day of chasing waterfalls. On the bikes around midday, first off was Datania. The waterfall itself was average though the appeal was the toboggan (they called it a luge) down to the waterfall, it was pretty fun, however the great wall toboggan still tops it. We walked back up the slope, hopped on the bikes and went off in search of the Elephant waterfall. We had google mapped and could find nothing, we just had a vague direction. It was another sunny day (it’s not getting boring yet), the scenery was brilliant and we didn’t know where we were going. We arrived at Ankroet lake, which was up north, whereas we wanted west. We went back and carried on going. We stopped off for lunch and a coffee and carried on in search of the falls. We gave ourselves a limit of 15kms down the road, having already come 20 (and the waterfall is 27kms away from Dalat), we reach our marker and drive back. On the road back we see the sign, take the turning and see the falls! Their pretty damn cool, Michael got a ankle deep in mud looking for a better view, we both got soaked going underneath the falls fully clothed and we climbed up some tree roots going up a rock, was fun. Driving back we got our oil changed, a wasp stung me and a woman turned into me while I was overtaking her, we brushed each other, or morelike my leg brushed her exhaust though not too bad. After a shower we went and saw the crazy house, a weird project by the daughter of a communist revolutionary, like something out of Nightmare of Elm Street, full of winding staircases and labyrinths, was bloody bizarre. Out to dinner for some Venison with lemon grass and chilli, back to the hotel to chill out, plan our next ten days (we need to be in HCM by the 10th to sell the bikes), find somewhere to stay in Mui Ne and how to get there (we’re going to attempt to take a brand new road through a national park, which according to our map doesn’t exist and google maps say only half of it exists) and to sleep as knackered.

day 271, Da Lat

Set our alarms to head off early to Dalat, though somehow ended up watching Morning Glory, a feel good film starring Rachel McAdams with Harrison Ford stealing the show, and I really enjoyed it. Was feeling a bit better and were on the road by ten. It was another sunny day and the progress was good till about 100kms out of Dalat where the road disintegrated for 25kms, took us two hours and with an upset stomach wasn’t fun. I got my mud guard tightened as it came loose and stopped off for lunch and coffee before cracking on. I also got attacked by a group of red ants while having a piss in some shrubbery. We passed from Lak Lake which was pretty cool. Riding along a massive cloud came out of nowhere, and from being too hot we were soaked to the skin in proper pissed off rain. Had to dig our ponchos out and it almost flooded the roads in less then ten minutes before stopping as quickly as it started, then the sun came out. It seemed to take forever to do the final 40kms to dalat, though once navigated the crazy traffic and road lay out, found a hotel and chilled out. Went for a western fix for dinner which was nice, with a milkshake, then got a litre of milk (it’s a specialty here!) plus a cake and chilled out in the evening planning tomorrow’s activities!

ps, no pictures atm as internet is shit here, will go back and upload some when get the chance

day 270, buon ma thout

Our big day plans disappeared as I was feeling rough again and spent half the night awake. Slept in till ten and revised our plans to reach Buon Ma Thout. It was a scorching day outside and was rolling along, quite busy traffic and had a slight hairy moment where a truck without any prior indication or signalling attempted a screaming u-ey whilst I was overtaking him. We both emergency stopped so no harm done. Stupidly I rolled my sleeves up and have an attractive square of red skin on either forearm. Carried on to get most of the ride out the way then stopped for lunch. We went to a food place where there was a five year old watching monster’s inc, and he was transfixed. We said hello to him numerous times, got in his eye line and even stood aside the tele though we weren’t there, he was away with Sulley and Mike. Went next door and had a good meal plus a coffee then we carried onward to Buon Ma Thout. Somehow going round a toll bridge I didn’t see the end of a boom pole and hit it with my arm, the thing broke though just carried on riding and hoping for the best. We arrived at Buon Ma Thout and found our hotel, pretty tired and dehydrated. Went out for a coffee as this is the coffee capital of Vietnam (and Vietnam is the second biggest exporter of coffee only to Brazil), and it was fantastic. On the way back stopped off at a supermarket and got loads of water and lemon juice, plus sunblock and moisturiser and sat in the hotel for a bit watching Titan A.E. and then went out for Com Hen, a dish of rice, clams, peanuts, sesame seeds, pork fat, shrimp sauce, salad, chilli sauce and clam broth, and was decent. We’re trying to have a specialty from each place we visit and this was it. We also had a drink which sunshine pioneered, the milk, yoghurt and suger thing, and it was fab. Back to the hotel to watch Bear Grylls highlights and go to bed, to DaLat tomorrow!