7 days till Christmas!

Hello!

So there's 7 days till Christmas. I'm looking forward to Christmas hugely, although it doesn't feel overly like Christmas. Firstly it's hot, which is still weird, secondly how am I supposed to know when Christmas is? I haven't had an advent calender this year...

Work's been pretty busy though still going well, settling in. Had a couple of Christmas dos, we had a big company one at SkyCity which was really good, everyone in posh dress (I was going to put fancy dress though that would be the wrong connotations), I had a really good time.

I'm lucky to have 16 days off over Christmas and New Year. Hannah has got some time off work so we've hired a van for a few days and heading east! I haven't seen a lot of Hannah what with work so well happy about it. Chilling out, freedom, some time away. Also east Coast NZ is the first place in the world to see the sun, so might have to see a sunrise if we can manage.

Christmas day people are coming over to ours, we're having a picnic and then a big meal. I like Christmas, spending it around people you love. It's also nice to look back on, as everyone remembers Christmas. I can't believe it's been a year since the last one, being part of Christmas Eve Mohawk Club, or the one before, round my dads xmas day and mum's boxing day, all with my brother and his gf. Crazy!

Lots of love
x

sidenote -

Once again I apologise for a severe lack of posting, although not for the rambunctious drunken previous entry, being drunk is not an excuse or a defence and I think it reflects how I was feeling perfectly, although the actual blog for that day may never see an unedited light of day...

Just to confirm, I'm not a waster, nor living on the streets or sliding down the slippery slope to the land of disappointment.

• I got a job! I knuckled down (finding a job is a full time job) and secured one through an employment agency. It's in the city, working within a good team on the phones, dealing with dairies (cornershops), bakeries, cafes etc who are wanting to buy bread/milk etc from us. I like it there.
• My Mum came to visit! My mum was over for 5 weeks, it was lovely to see her, she had a jaunt round the South Island on her own, then came back up. Work, bless them, let me have 2 weeks off (having only worked there for 3 weeks) to spend around the North Island. It was amazing, covered a decent distance, from Cape Reinga all the way to Wellington, then back up to the tip of the Coromandel Peninsula and returned to Auckland. Highlight was Skydiving, doing the highest jump in NZ with Mum from 16,500ft.  Also went up the Sky Tower (my favourite building of Auckland, I'll one day get round to telling you why), where we ate at a revolving restaurant at a height of 194m.

I was back at work Monday, saw Mum off on Tuesday morning and getting back into the flow of life. Have really enjoyed this week, Hannah has had a few evenings off which has been lovely, went out for dinner followed by an ice cream bar for dessert, walked up Mt Eden, returned to boot camp. 

It's Friday night, and while I've been sat a computer screen all day, I've spent my evening on a computer, completely alone for the first time for a good, good while, catching up with things, long overdue emails and general schemings. I'm looking forward to the weekend, nothing really planned, catch up with friends and sleep. 

Lots of love x

sidenote

you know it;s been too long to update your blog when tou forget the fucking password...

so... shit new with me... not alot. i dont know if ou picked this up but i;m drinlk. it;s stauray night, and i;n not sure if it';s quarter to two or quarter to 3 what with the daylifht saving malarkey. the reason ... ah fuck, hannah has just come in from work and got distracted so dont even know what the sentence was beginning with "the reason".

I lied. there is some shit that's new with me. probablybest to bullet point it

• i;ve moved out the hostel and into a lovely flat. me and hananh have moved into a lovely little flat, slight new yo9rk industiral esque, 10 mins away from theold hostle, we've moved in with 2 lovely kiwi girls, who are simply the nicest, kindest peopleyou ould hope to meet. WE bought a bed of trademe, i built it with myt leatherman ande felt veryt manyl, 

1. I hvent worked for the last 15 days. I got bought into the officve a cou0le weeks ago on wednesday sto say not to come in ti;l they had a new list for us to work on. I saw this coming and it didnt come as a suprise, though unemployment sucks. I feel unproductive and see my bank balace dwindling. the whole idea of NZ was NZ pays for NZ, whicbh up until now has been working out faboulsy. i;ve lived a quite affluent lifesyty;e, been to movies, bought shit htat i;dlike, though my money is running low and i need a jo9b pronto.

• ( i dont know if you;ve heard or lnow about the shit sandwich, where you put a negative inbetween two postives, but here is an example)/. \\\\\\ well,half. i;ve bought a road bike, a lovely blue little thing, well looked after, can;t decide on naming it between Epona, Lorretta or pegasus, so have settled on Loretta epona pegasus. I aslo have a closet ambition to ride north to south NZ, in either the coming march of this time next year, ie bookending the hot summer. I've startede boot camp in order to get fit, and think that i have under estimated the challenge that this cyloce ride will provide. Like top gear, overly ambitious but ridiculously good natured, and being a stubborn bastard it will happen, especalliy now that i';ve put it in ink admitting what i'm going to do. I bought Loretta 2 weeks ago though hvanet't riddne her, due to lack of funds to buy cyclung shoes (she's rocking cleats), the ;egal requirement to wear a helmet here, plus locks and lights. Once i get my shit sorted of think fucfk it and whack it on my UK credit card i'.l start training for it. shortest route is around 2200 km, though with diversions and who knows what could be a lot longer. though i cant think of a better way to see the country and get fit at the same time. I haven;t come half way acrss the world to worry, be contained by normal parameters, and what i cant and can do, there's no point in worrying about the things you can't control, and if you can control them, why are you worrying about them.

Despite my temp concern about no job, i'm doing alright for myself/. I'm really happy with where i'm living, the people i'm living with and also Hannah, who is magnificent, when i wasn't looking for anyone i came upon her and couldnt be happier. 

i'm going to go to bed as i'm fucked and rambkling. i still haven;t sent a spostcard from auckland yet back home which i apologise for, i will get on it. 

lots of love to you all, you're awesome x

sidenote

hello. It's been over a month since my last sidenote. I'm really sorry. Somehow in my head I make the excuse that as I'm still writing every day that it's ok, though if you're still checking this website that doesn't help you. It's been a very draining,, emotionally tiring few weeks. In no particular order here are some things that have happened in the last month:

• Hannah got her visa! They left it late and was worry filled though ended really well. We're getting on really, really well and chuffed to bits she's staying.
• My work has semi dried up and have been filled with uncertainty. Worked 22 hours last week. I'm temping and unsure yet as to what will happen to me. Having no job security has put a temporary pause on moving out/buying a car/buying a road bike.
• Had an insane 8 days with my friend Dave, previously referred to as Irish Dave. We hung out here for a couple, saw the Batman film at the Imax, then went on a road trip, covering the north of the north island and the Coromandel Penisula. This place is ridiculous, we saw storms, sunshine, giant sand dunes, forests with fuck off big trees, lighthouses, rolling country side, coast, Die Hard Bridge, plus one of the nicest beaches we both ever been to. I also fell more in love with Dave, one of the most brilliant persons ever.
• Football seasons are now over. Saturday 11 a side, we won 3 on the bounce and had two call offs. Futsal on the sunday evening we lost a couple and had a few big wins, had finals yday and lost to an incredible team 7-3, though they were bloody brilliant.

I've found I'm really struggling with time and tiredness recently, it doesn't help first not knowing about Hannah's visa and now about my job. I'm hoping things will settle down in a positive way and I start feeling like my life in Auckland is progressing, rather then being stuck in suspended animation (on a tight rope). I've got lots of plans to do new cool things though need to make them a priority.

There's loads more that I'm missing, though I'm bloody tired and off to bed. I've been terrible at keeping in touch and owe lots of people emails, not out of a sense of obligation though out of desire to stay in touch and display people's importance to me. 

love you all

sidenote

yo. Been a fucking busy week, work is getting hectic though enjoying it, had a lot better work week then last week. Erica (a girl from my hostel) has started here, the CDMA switchover is getting closer and momentum is building. It's really interesting to see a new brand building before your eyes. Un-work wise had a cracker of a week. Getting on really well with Hannah, she's applying for a visa extension as she's due to leave in 3 weeks, played tennis with Steve, first time in over a year, was amazing, been part of a 'Cooking circle', i cooked monday an absolute treat and others have stepped it up. Went and played pool wednesday, played table tennis yday with steve, had a lovely day at Waihike Island on Saturday and had a good day of football, only fucking won, plus won at Futsal on sunday night. Looking forward to this week, going on a road trip hopefully on wednesday with Irish Dave to north of the north island, want to get REALLY drunk on saturday as it's been a while, playing football tomorrow. I've been shit at keeping in touch, try and rectify that a bit, please don't think I no longer care or love you, not the case. Had a few beers this afternoon at work, going out for a meal tonight with Hannah and fooking looking forward to the weekend. lots of love xx

sidenote

Hey! It's friday, a couple of minutes before I clock off. It's been a long week, glad it's teh weekend. Work's been busy, watched a few movies, chilled out, the usual. Went to some hot springs on saturday as no football, had a right ball, ten of us went, we chilled, flume'd and took over the kids pool to create a whirlpool. Jacques, a canadian girl left us so we had a party saturday night. going to waiheke island tomorrow to play football and chilling on sunday, looking forward to it. I've been rubbish at keeping in touch so hope to send some emails out over the weekend, time's really short. Also hope to start playing tennis, going down to a club on monday to see how i get on. lots of love x

Sidenote

Hey. What's becoming routine, updating this in my final 10mins of work. I'm still writing every day (though forgot this week and caught up 5 days on thursday) though it's pretty mundane standard life, though a decent happy life at the moment. Weekend was great, played football (lost 6-0) then went to that house party which was brilliant, mooched about sunday and cooked a curry for 16 people and watched Boy. Work monday to friday, had a really good week, plus a few beers in teh office both tuesday and thursday. There's a girl at my hostel called Hannah who I've started seeing, she's great, we went out wednesday and played shuffleboard and walked up Mt Eden. She's off to Oz in six weeks as been in NZ almost 2 years now so we're moving into a room at the hostel and see how it goes. Going to laser tag tonight, tomorrow going to a Thermal pool place as no football, plus they have hot water slides(!) and no doubt chill out sunday. I've also bought a tennis racquet which should be coming early next week and start playing. Also it's my mum's birthday today so hope to speak to her at somepoint, she's celebrating her yearly anniversary of her 21st. Happy Birthday Mum! love you all loads x

sidenote, once again

hello, once again writing this cheekily from work. had a good week, played football on sat (lost 8/9 nil, lost count) then chilled out, got drunk friday night for Jonny's bday, sunday had winter christmas, a 3 course meal and dressed up. monday-friday was working, enjoyed it, been in a shop doing some repping as well as being on the phones, also cooked lots, went ice skating and went out with work yday, it was free bar and I was worse for wear after half 7. going to laser tag tonight, lasagne and pyjama party (fuck yeah!), football tomorrow and a house party then chilling out sunday ready for work again. Loving life, settling down into a pattern and having a good time. we've also started watching Game of Thrones! love x

sidenote

sorry i lied to you and didn't start updating my blog properly, what with work and other stuff, plus internet being annoyingly not free I haven't got round to it, having to remind myself to write my daily updates as it is. I'm cheekily writing this from work having worked my first monday-friday week for the first time in the year and i don't even have the desire to throw myself off a rather high building, i've had a good week and finished it with a few beers in the office. Rather uneventful as been going to bed early to get over saturday night, got offered another job though turned it down as happy here. Been feeding pretty damn well as hooked up with Adam and Simon and others and been cooking for a few people at a time, plus it seems there's a birthday every other day and a cake going round so been eating alot but it is winter in my defense. Chilling out tonight with a few beers, football tomorrow then sunday quite a few of us are going to the pub for 'mid winter christmas', have a 3 course roast on teh way which looking forward to immeasurably before back to work monday and i don't hate that prospect. I'm really starting to settle in and get in teh "i live here" state of mind, it's the longest i've been in one place for a while and i'm enjoying it. roll on next week! x

sidenote- Got a job!

hey. I know this hasn't been updated for a while though hopefully that should start changing, I'll start uploading my daily entries from way back in Cambodia tomorrow, though just thought I'd let you know how the last couple of weeks have been in Auckland. Highlights include going to the All Blacks-Ireland game, playing a few more games of football and futsal, won a few games which was nice, had sunday funday where we got hammered, went out yday on town and had a grand night, chilled out and went up one tree hill. Though by far the best highlight was getting a job, sorted by Dave, a lovely bloke in my football team. I'm working for Skinny Mobile, a new network, making outbound calls upgrading people's phones which will soon be made redundant by their antiquated network being switched off, it's chilled out, good people, well paid plus has a few perks, such as free credit. I'm working monday to friday, 9-5:30 in the city centre which is walkable, so all is good. No lowlights to share as there hasn't been any, loving my hostel and the people that fill it, spend alot of time hanging out and catching up on each others days and having dinner. lots of love x

sidenote- good on yer liz

hey. it's monday and everyone has it off for the queens jubilee. i've had a really good couple of days. On saturday i met up with my mate Andy, a lovely bloke who i met on the trans sib, he took me around and got a back account sorted, then he took me over to Mission bay where we had a burgerfuel, naturally i got the bastard and it was stunning. we went for a little wander, he drove me round the town pointing out cool bits and pieces, we checked out an outlet centre then went to watch his football team play. they were short so i played the full 90mins at centre back, we lost 3-2, it was a dreadful standard though was good to be out there running round again, they gave me some kit and i'm down to play next week. in the evening i cooked meself a meal and watched moneyball with people. sunday was a chill out day, i read my book for a few hours, finished LOTRs pt 1, walked up mt eden with a few people and had a glass of wine up there and then Matt (a chef staying at the hostel) did a roast dinner which was amazing. he did bloody well and cooked for 23 people, we all washed up and mooched a bit, played scrabble. this morn done some washing and looking for jobs, prob go for a run later. oh, didn't go to the blues game on sat, i was with Naomi who would rather go to the all blacks game against ireland this coming sat at eden park (where the World cup final was), so have got tickets!!! hells yeah!!!

sidenote: a plain hey

hey. so, just finished my first day at work, was door to door and not for me, so I phoned up the bloke, left a message on his voicemail stating i no longer wished to do it. Sitting in the internet cafe a bloke has just offered me a job in a call centre, so need to email him my details and chase it up. I went to football training and really enjoyed it, though everyone was taller, faster, fitter and just better at football then me, though really good to be out playing again. tomorrow i'm meeting up with my mate andy to have a look around and set up a bank account, then the blues game in the evening with a girl from teh hostel if she's managed to sort tickets, then sunday no plans. i'm off to the pub now with some people from work, ta ra

sidenote -Kia Ora

howdy. been busy in auckland so far, spent the first day chilling out and getting my bearings, walked up mt eden (a former volcano) which offered panoramic views of the city, and a damn fine rainbow, then went to the pub for quiz night, beers are dearer here so need a job. yesterday spent doing jobs, getting my ird number (national insurance thingy), a sim card so i'm back on the grid and applying for jobs, cooked in the evening, chatted away. this morning arranged an interview which i've just got out of, they phoned me up shortly after and asked for me to come in an hour for training. also applying for other jobs n the meantime. not 100% sure about the job, it's door to door setting up milkmens round, though the guy was really nice and they seem a laid back company, it's not about the hard push or nowt, and their sister company in oz is one of the fastest growing companies over there so they must be doing something right. tonight if i get out of training in time going football training with my roommate chris, havent played for a year so see how shit and unfit i am. lots of love, xx

sidenote- alright bro? (only one real kiwi has said hello to me and that is what he said, he even had a tat all over his face and a umrbella in a sheath like a sword))

hello. a quickie. i'm in auckland safe and well. i'nm in a cool hostel with lots of long termers and a cool vibe. nz is clean, quiet, pleasant and friendly. but internet is not free and is quite expensive, and done on data usage, hence why emails are going unanswered till i get on a cheaper internet cafe. things are looking up, met some lovely people who have taken me under various wings and shown me the ropes, been to the pub and had a couple of beers and done the quiz. things are expensive here though not outrageous, i just need to earn some money, so spending tomorrow looking for work, i'm going to take any work i can get, even temporary catering work and continue looking for work more attractive to me, though i need an income and i;m not fussy and have a can do attitude. once i get a job will i look at moving out of the hostel, which isnt that expensive. i;n beeping, love you all

side note- Sawatdee Kap

hey. i'm back in Bangkok, arrived last night with Robyn and Olga, a canadian and londoner who are lovely and did a bit of burma with. checked into a nice hotel with a swimming pool (!) and have a few days to get jobs done. i'm in the process of buying my flight to Auckland, more then likely for monday, which gives me 5 full days to get shit done, assemble half a new wardrobe so i don't look like a complete hobo, get a check up at the dentist, eat like a king at fancy restaurants for thailand (4-6quid) as restaurants will be expensive and why not eh? Plus the tedious task of job hunting and the exciting task of flat hunting, something which i've never done before and really looking forward to it, Andy (a mate i met on the trans-sib) has filled me in on the areas that i should be looking at, so will sift through the options and ping out viewing emails. I'm still in my 'over-it' mood, i'm looking forward to leaving asia and am starting to think alot more proactively about the sort of lifestyle i want to lead in NZ. I'll start updating this blog proper tomorrow, I have alot of catching up to do today. in depth emails should be away in the next couple of days and hopefully phone home either tonight or tomorrow, my room has wi-fi so should be a sound connection. i'm also looking to getting on the razz as my alcohol free month is over and need to remind myself that i'm fun, though Khao san is eerily quiet at the mo. anywho, lots of love x

sidenote-mingalaba!

Mingalaba! i'm currently in Pyin U Lwin, a former British hill station having a much needed chill out day. It's cooler up here (no more then thirty, where in Mandalay it hovered about 41) and tomorrow i'm jumping on the train to Hsipaw, a much acclaimed journey including the Gokteik Viaduct. So far i've been sensory blown away by Yangon, simultaneously over-awed and under-awed by Bagan, unlovingly embraced by Mandalay and molly-cuddled by Pyin U Lwin. I'm travelling with a lovely swiss girl called Evie. I'm following the railway then bus-sing back to Mandalay and then southwards to Inle Lake, hopefully Kyaikhto and back to Yangon to fly back to Bangkok. I still don't have a flight yet though don't know when i want to leave, will go back to Bangkok, have a last hurrah and head to New Zealand me thinks. Lots of love x

sidenote

hello! Just to let you know the latest news. it's day 323, i've had the most incredible last two weeks where i went to songkran in chiang mai, the thai new year where you waterfight, met back up with the most amazing people i met along the way, went to pai for 4 days and had more fun, now in bangkok and fly out in 4 hours to Myanmar (formerly Burma). I have no plan whatsoever for Myanmar, no place to stay when i arrive, no idea what's over there, no-one as of yet to travel with (though i am armed with my smile for the airport, and i met a girl at the embassy who's going tomorrow), and i'm really looking forward to it. Myanmar seems 'the' place to be right now, everyone i've spoken to has just said magical things about the place. i have no return flight so who knows. i also have no concrete plans for what follows myanmar, i have to be in NZ before the 17th of augast, though no reason why i can't enter before that. Though there are plenty of other places waiting to be enjoyed. i'm planning on not drinking in Myanmar for the month as i have had 3 weeks of excess, i'm writing this at half twelve midday with the shakes. Myanmar doesn't have the best internet in the world so don't be alarmed if this blog isn't updated or emails go unanswered, though please keep sending me emails and messages as they are the only thing that anchors me to a consistent, safe, loving entity of home, nothing is too trivial, banal, unnecessary etc, and you've no idea how happy it makes me to know that people care.  When i do have access to the net i will post a sidenote. that's all from me, i hope you are well and happy. lots of love x

day 291, Sihanoukville

Found out that buses go to Snookville at 11 and three, attempted to make the eleven bus though during breakfast, which was served at Cambodian pace, realised it would be a no-goer so relaxed and got a cake, plus one for Bronwen as it were her birthday. Returned Michael’s scooter and spent the day chilling out at the hotel, playing a bit of pool, a bit of minigolf, watching Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll, andy serkis playing ian drury and it was excellent, plus talking to people hanging around. Our bus picked us up, it was air con’d which was nice as it was scorching out, had a chat with a kiwi lad and a German girl, put my ipod in and gazed out the window. We arrived in Snookville 2 and bit hours later, it’s a bit reminiscent of the thai party islands though smaller. We found a guesthouse that Sophy from Kampot recommended. We went out for some street food which was really good, back to the hotel to chill out, watch Armoured, a film with Laurence Fishbourne, Matt Dillon, Gene Reno and it was dreadful. We went down to one of the bars, Monkey Republic, ran into a dutch bloke we met in Saigon called Rich, not surprising really as he’s a bit of a party monster, he spent a week in Vang Vieng solid tubing and been here for a while, though he’s had five solid nights on the lash and was a walking zombie so he popped a valium and went to bed at 9. We played a bit of pool with money involved, a whole 100 riel (two and a half cents!), met some Swedish people and played the Swedish version of ring of fire. Got very drunk and moved on down to the beach, had a boogie and chatted some more and stumbled home.

day 290, Kampot

Woke up pretty early from my meat coma and lazed about. It was ridiculously hot outside, on an almost unbearable level. We decided to stay another day and Michael went with Emily, Michael, Jordan and duncan from antantica to some caves down by Kep. I wanted a day of nothing, out of the sun, so returned my bike, walked back and hung around. I watched the first half of the film Bronson before the dvd fucked up, then watched the first half of the grand prix before getting bored. Watched the Descendants which was alright and went off for afternoon cake. I wanted to be alone and read my book though a Cambodian man, who was very nice, came over to my table and started practising English on me, which I know thiis bad of me but I just didn’t have time for it, so wolfed down my cake and left, seeking solitude in my book. Two mins back at the hostel and I’m in a hammock happy as larry immersed, before a little kid with a space gun which makes noises at a offensive level started running around and raining on my parade. It just wasn’t to be, so went up to the dvd lounge and watched a couple of episodes of shameless from the 1st series which were really good, was cool to see characters who I was still watching when back in England yet back when it first started ten years ago. Michael and people came back, we went out for dinner, decided on some Cambodian, had Lak Lak, slices of beef in a sauce with rice which was very average, walked back and ran into Bronwen, the girl from Hue where we got drunk in the dorm and blindly emotionally invested in each other. Had a couple of beers and a lovely catch up before calling it a night.

day 289, Kampot

The morning was spent mooching and chilling out, we hired some semi auto motorbikes and met up with Sophie and Emily, the Canadian/aussie girls from yday, and drove out to Bokor National Park, it was a bloody hot day and caught the sun abit, even with factor 60, so fucking british, though was really good fun. The road was brand new and was good to get on back on a bike, though didn’t have the emotional connection as I did with Martha. It was a solid ride up, at the top offered really cool views and old French villas, though the Chinese are building a hotel so no doubt soon to be ruined. We drove down and hung around the mid-afternoon, playing a bit of pool, going out for a cake. The evening we went back to the place that did ribs, us four plus the 3 yanks from Antarctica. I didn’t want to but I undertook the Dino Ribs Challenge as I said I could, if I didn’t finish it I paid, if I did, Michael paid; it was 15 bucks! Out came 3 full racks of ribs, one and half kilos and it was meat heavy, plus a separate plate of chips. In brackets on the menu it said it will feed four. I knew it was utterly pointless and wouldn’t end well, but a challenge is a challenge, and one which I’m not too proud to admit I completed. Only one other person had completed the challenge before, and he was a big, big man from Liverpool who polished it off in 24 miutes. It was a ridiculous amount of food though ate steadily though it, it helped that it was damn tasty, it means I get my picture on the wall of fame! It also meant I went into a bit of a meat coma and straight to bed, while the others went for beers and minigolf, so no-one won really. Also I will never do any sort of eating challenge again as it is just pointless, especially as I’m trying to slim down a bit, but was good fun and banter was plentiful.

view from bokor park

Michael was official photographer for the day as i forgot my camera,  hence why i'm in this photo

spaceship

the waterfall around bokor, with no water

Add caption

reluctant and nervous

meat heavy

relieved

esteemed company

day 288, kampot

Yesterday evening we waited for the electricity to cut out before heading back out into the ocean for a swim with the algae. It was very, very cool. In the morning we packed up and checked out, had a pancake for breakfast and sorted our boat back to the island. It wasn’t for another hour so hung around and read some more of 1984, which I’m really enjoying, and jumped on our boat. We were met back at Kep by our tuk tuk driver who drove us back to Kep city and arranged the bus to Kampot, 30kms down the road. That wasn’t for a couple of hours, so more reading and on the bus. Once at Kampot we had a look around and found a guesthouse, we’re in the dorm which is really well laid out, open plan and takes the whole of the top floor. We went across the road to the curry shack which was a little disappointing before borrowing some bikes for the guesthouse and going for a cycle around the town. It’s pretty quiet and laid back here, next to a river which is nice, we stopped for a brownie and ice cream which was really, really good, and back to the guesthouse to play a bit of pool. For dinner we went to a place which has won awards for it’s ribs, and they were fantastic. They have a rib challenge which stupidly I said I could do, so Michael has bet me that I can’t, so we’re going back tomorrow. Back at the guesthouse  got some beers and met some people around the pool table, some americans who have worked in Antarctica for six months who were really interesting, a Canadian girl and a Aussie girl. We had a few beers and played some minigolf, then more beers and played pool till the early hours of the morning listening to music.

day 287, Koh tonsai, (rabbit island)

Me and Michael piled into a tuk-tuk laid on by our hotel to drive down to the pier, where we got a boat over to Koh Tonsai, otherwise known as Rabbit Island (apparently the island looks like a rabbit). It’s a quiet island about 5km away from Kep, it was a glorious day and we arrived 20mins later to a stretch of sandy beach littered with small bungalows and cafés. We found a bungalow easily and sat down for breakfast with two Quebecois girls, Mary and Alex. From there we walked around the island looking for a quiet secluded beach, though weren’t in luck. Apart from the main beach there wasn’t any sand to find, and we walked all the way round in vain. We did find a slightly sandy spit so we dumped our bags and went for a swim, though after 100m of walking we still weren’t up to our knees so gave up. Once back at the main beach we went for a swim though the water was super warm, chilled out, read some more book and listened to some music while lying in the shade having a kip and a bit more swimming. We walked down the beach to make sure there wasn’t a bar/restaurant full of people, there weren’t, though we ran into Mary and Alex again so had dinner together. We all had seafood which was divine, a couple of beers and good company, was really nice. Me and Michael had heard that you can go swimming at night andyour movements disrupt a plankton/algae that glows as a result, we left the restaurant to the beach (all seven metres of it) though it didn’t look like there was anything happening. Unperturbed I stripped off and waddled in, and to my delight, once you got out of the beach lights) there was! You move you hand/foot and it was almost like a phosphorous trail coming out of your hand/foot, like fireflies. Was really, really cool. I shouted to Michael who came out, then he shouted and went back in and grabbed Mary and Alex who came out. There is electricity on this island between six and ten, it’s nine now, just waiting for ten to strike and darkness envelopes us and we go back out for more swimming as it’s so cool, even though I’m knackered and want to go to bed now!

Michael doing his Jesus thing...

day 286, Kep

In the morning got our stuff together and walked to the bus station to go to Kep. The bus was delayed so got a Khmer Sandwich and an ice coffee before boarding on the bus and wasting away 5 hours listening to some music and staring our the window till we arrived in Kep. Kep is a really nice place, super small and chilled out, has a beach and is famous for crab, reportedly the best in Cambodia. We found a really nice guesthouse, it was either a guesthouse or bungalows though they were further away and we’re just here for one evening, treated ourselves to a room each and headed out to the Crab Market. We had a seat right on the water front, watched the local fishermen unload their days catch and ordered crab. Half a minute later the bloke who took our order is wading out into the water and fetching the crabs. It came out and looked marvellous, and tasted even better. There was quite a bit of it, and we ate solidly and picked at it for a good 45 minutes, the crab was cooked perfectly and the sauce was delicious. We walked back round the sea front and went into the national park to trek up to sunset rock, it was a pretty standard path though with the heat and my foot was a bit of a struggle, though the views when we got there were amazing, you can see Phu Quoc, the Vietnamese island, plus the gulf of Thailand. Unfortunately the sun was blocked out by a cloudy haze, turned out not an awful thing in the end as it was quite dark walking back, had a much needed shower and crashed out.

the before shot, simply stunning

our waiter off to fetch them crabs

the after shot, 

sunset rock

day 285, Phnom Penh

Met up with Michael and after a bit of negotiating found ourselves in a tuk-tuk to visit the Killing Fields. Our tuk-tuk driver was called T, and as I have found with almost all of the Cambodians, his level of English was very high. He’s 41 and has 4 kids, “because he likes bom-bom”. The Killing fields were 15kms out of PP, and while the traffic isn’t as volumous as Vietnam it is equally mental, maybe more as there seems to be less rules here, it made me glad I wasn’t on my martha. We went past the Olympic Stadium, which the Cambodia government has sold off to the Taiwanese in a murky deal, and arrived at the Killing Fields 45 mins later. Upon entry they give you a headset and a little radio and you walk around the site listening to information read aloud by a survivor. I didn’t know a lot about the Khmer Rouge and Cambodian history before coming here, and I was only aware of the outline after the s-21 prison, though I thought the radio-headset thing was fantastic. The Killing Fields was a place that the Khmer Rouge bought people to be executed after the s-21 prison, figures vary between 14,000 and 20,000 people dying in that exact field, they have since discovered 300 other similar killing fields. It was a very personal and private thing, walking around and having the choice to listen to more information or not, and while there were plenty of people around felt very secluded and isolated. It was incredibly informative and at times shocking, particularly the brutal-ness of what happened, including smashing babies into the “death tree”. It was also shocking to learn that between a quarter and a third of the Cambodian population were murdered in the 4 years that the Khmer Rouge were in power, and that the modern world powers, The UK, the USA, France, Germany and Australia recognised the Khmer Rouge as the Cambodian government in the UN up till 1993, 18 years since they were overthrew. Once we were done we jumped back in with T and he drove us back, he dropped us off at the central market which was a very cool building, it was perfectly symmetrical, as good functionally as it was aesthetically, then went in search of food. We ended up at a Mexican place on the recommendation of people from our hostel and it was very good, incidentally there doesn’t seem to be a lot of standout Cambodian cuisine like on a scale with Vietnam, there are a lot of western restaurants around as a result, then walked back to the hostel. We met up with Sophie and Pirman, they had been out on a scooter going around the city and had an accident, Sophie was cut up pretty badly. We hung around the hostel in the air con then played a couple of games of pool waiting for the swimming pool to fill up again after being cleaned before having a dip and chatting to some people. Evening came and booked our bus tickets to Kep for tomorrow from the bus stop then went back to the Indonesian restaurant from the other day as it was bloody brilliant. Walked back to the hostel and chilled out in the evening, I hit a purple patch while playing pool, never played so good and against so good players, I beat one of the locals who is a right pool shark twice, before it all went pete tong and I turned shit again, puffed a bit and went to bed.

day 284, Phnom Penh

The morning we walked to Wat Phnom, a temple (which was like most other temples) but did have a cool massive clock to one side, followed the waterfront and found a small Indonesian restaurant and had a really tasty meal, then to the S-21 Prison, otherwise known as the Tuol Slang prison, where between 14000 and 20,000 people were held and killed, around 179 people left alive during the Khmer Rouge period. It was a long walk in the heat, so we got on a moto taxi back to the grand palace which was just alright, quite similar to the palace in Bangkok though not as good, it did have a room with a silver tiled floor though, which they covered in carpet. We walked back and chilled out, wanted to go for a dip in the pool though was drained so hung around, then went out for dinner with Michael and an aussie, to  a French bistro place and had a steak which was amazing, before back to the hostel to chill out and go to bed. My foot is starting to resemble my foot again, instead of a club/bear foot which is good, though still hurts like fuck.

day 283, Phnom Penh

Snuck in a couple of jobs in the morning before the bus, got some water and a new headset for skype and a sd card reader as my one is fucked, before rushing to catch the bus down the road onward to Phnom Penh! Michael was emailing back a couple who showed interest in the motorbikes, sods law. The bus was really nice, air conditioned and with nice people running it who spoke good English. They handed out visa forms for Cambodia and drove the 2 hour to the border. They took care of everything, we just waited in a room for our names to be called with all the exit stamps, I was relieved to get out of Vietnam, a tiny, tiny paranoid part of me was turning over the boom pole/the collision with that girl/the truck in my mind, but I was out! The Cambodian visa was really easy, they took care of everything and we were away. Funnily enough the border at Cambodian side was a lot more complex then Vietnam, they took our finger prints and everything. Back on the bus and my first impressions of Cambodia is that of casinos, they were lining the streets, turns out Vietnamese on the weekends come to Cambodia to gamble as it’s illegal in Vietnam. We stopped off for lunch which was very average, had some Khmer Noodles and a delicious coffee before carrying on. It was a 3 hour drive to PP and they put Fast and Furious Five on, with the Rock! I put my ipod in and looked out the window instead, then we drove onto a ferry and crossed another part of the Mekong (randomly I found out that from 2015 there will be a bridge built so the ferry will be redundant, at 2008m it will be Cambodia’s biggest bridge and will be a ‘gift’ from China…) We arrived in PP and it was hot, the streets are grid numbered so we walked to street 88 and found our hostel of choice. Checked in and met a danish girl called Sophie, she was going down to the pool so joined her, didn’t swim as my foot has gone a bit scabby so read my book (just started on 1984) before heading in a nauseating tuk tuk to the night market, had some street food on rugs on the floor and looked a bit half heartedly for some shoes. We walked back and chilled out in the evening, tried calling home but didn’t have any luck so went to the common area, which is also a sort of pub thing, sat on my own away from lots of people socialising and drinking,  watched the England france rugby game and had a blast, was marvellous.

day 282, HCM

Me and Michael wandered around looking for Banh Mi for breakfast, basically Vietnamese sandwiches which are supposed to be super yummy, though as it was gone 10:30 they were all shut, so using people power ended at a point and eat place which was really good, including a delicious coffee. On the way back we stopped off at a motorbike dealer to ask about selling the bikes, he said to bring them down for him to look at, so went back, hopped on the bikes and did as we were told. He looked them over and wasn’t too impressed with Martha, offered 100 bucks and I took it. My attitude was considering before my latest breakdown and the 100buck engine rebuild she was in shit state, I was gonna leave her anyway, I just re-couped my 100bucks for the engine rebuild, plus I don’t have to worry about selling a traveller a potentially shit bike and them having a bad time on Martha. Michael had a bit of negotiating to do and kept on saying no and ended up getting pretty much what he wanted, job done! Decided there wasn’t a lot keeping us in HCM, it lacks the charm of Hanoi, so decide to leave tomorrow for Cambodia. We research Cambodia for a bit and bits and pieces then watch Invictus, the nelson Mandela film, before going in search of the best Banh Mi HCM has to offer. It’s 4kms away, my foot is feeling better thank god and the walk isn’t painful and the sandwich was delightful. Between us we share four of them, with a cake, then walking back get some milk and a roti (from the father of all buns, Papa Roti), buy our bus ticket to Phnom Penh (is it sad I’m looking forward to sitting on a bus, imagine not having to spend attention or energy getting somewhere?!) and chill out in the hostel watching a bit of football and planning tomorrow.

day 281, HCMC

Spent the morning lazing away, took some washing to be done and went out for an Indian as brunch with Michael plus two blokes we met in Hue staying in our dorm, Sam and his mate (who’s name I’ve forgotten). My foot is feeling a bit better and I’m not limping as badly. We walked to the War Remnants Museum in the heat, it was bloody humid and spent a couple of hours there. They had a recreation of the ‘tiger cages’ and prisons, plus a few US military vehicles, tanks, weapons and helicopters outside. Inside was a collection of photographs of war atrocities undertaken by the US, including those involving Agent Orange, there were some very powerful and moving images around. The Museum for me though was too busy and my foot was starting to play up, so we walked back and spent a couple of hours mooching around, Michael went to pick up our washing then straight into the shower and clean clothes which was great. Me and Michael headed off to dinner to a ‘point and eat’ place which was really good, then went out for a couple of beers. I really fancy a nightout, a few beers, a boogie and meeting some people, though one beer through I started not to feel too good, really hot and tired, plus my foot hurts so called it a night, left Michael to continue for the both of us, I stopped off at a shop and bought a litre of milk, some digestive biscuits and a water and now writing this listening to my ipod on shuffle with my frozen bag of peas on my foot. Oh, and the two blokes who looked at the bikes yday have found different ones.

day 280, Ho Chi Minh City

Slept very well and woke up with my foot not hurting at all…until I moved it and had to get out of my bunk bed, of course I was on the top bunk. I could put weight on it and was less painful then yesterday so fingers crossed. Me and Michael put up an ad for the bikes on the internet, had breakfast (which was rubbish) and met two dutch girls during breakfast staying in our dorm, Mariana and Ellie. We had a walk around to find a laundry place, stopped off at a barber’s for a shave, a face pack, a hair wash and shevell, a hair cut and a brief massage, then back to the hostel to find a good place for lunch. We walked there in the sweltering heat, my ankle was struggling though had a glass of milk and some Bun Thit nuong and all was good with the world. Walked back just in time to start watching 21, the film, then we met up with two blokes staying in our hostel who were interested in the bikes. Told them everything about them and they took it for a test drive, thank fuck Martha behaved herself, then Michael went for a drive around, I did a water run and sat in the park watching the kids play football eating an ice cream, before meeting up with Michael, Mariana and Ellie and going off for dinner. Mariana had a sushi craving though the restaurant had a 40min wait so went to a street restaurant and had a good meal, I’m knackered and my foot hurts so am back in the hostel while the others have gone for a drink. Bit bummed as I would love to have a night out but alcohol thins the blood and would only swell my foot more, plus after a few drinks I’d know I’d just want to dance. Grr

day 279, Ho Chi Minh City!

Michael is determined to go to Phu Quoc so we drag ourselves out of bed at half six, pack up and go down the ferry port for tickets, though they’re all sold out for the day and we can’t be arsed to bike up to the northern ferry port about 75kms up, so we head back to Ho Chi Minh City. It’s a shit narrow road with life on either sides, so numerous emergency stops courtesy of bikes, trolleys, kids, adults, animals and buses. We stop for lunch after an hour and half for my favourite Vietnamese dish, Bun Thit Nuong, so simple but so tasty, and perfect for the scorching weather as it’s served room temperature. Back on the bikes and we finish highway 80, turn right on highway 91 to Can Tho, get a bit lost in Can Tho before finding our way to the fabled Highway 1a. The road is actually really good and there isn’t too much traffic about, so we zoom along eating the Kilometres away, soon it vanishes from 164kms to under a hundred, and the countdown begins! About 50kms out the traffic is getting a bit heavier and we stop at Tan An for an internet café to find out where to stay in HCMC and how to get there as Ho Chi Minh city is a concrete labyrinth. 15kms down the road I’m on the inside lane next to a big load bearing vehicle (luckily it isn’t loaded) and a bus pulls out from my right hand side, so subconsciously I edge out to avoid it and brush the side of the truck base with my shoulder, no biggie I think, then the wheel follows it and it runs over my ankle/foot which I put down to make sure I didn’t tumble.. Shocked I yank it away and get it out before the other wheels gets it, I hear shouting and manage to carry on driving and zoom off. It fucking cained. Michael catches up with me, we stop, I whimper into my helmet and my foot is killing me, though I can move my toes and my ankle so think nothing is broken. We turn off earlier then we thought it would be and find our way to the hostel we were after, all the while my foot is slowly becoming more and more painful. Check into the hostel, have a shower and ask Michael what happened. Turns out it was probably my fault, with my over eagerness to avoid the bus, once I made the move to avoid the bus what happened was almost unavoidable. I’m so fucking mad at myself. It happened in the last half hour of riding, after doing over 5000kms for fucks sake. I realise it could have been worse though,  and took solace in that bloke from east 17 who ran himself over in his own car while fetching a jacket potato that he dropped. We go off for dinner and get a western fix which was wank, it’s what I imagine a lasagne to be like if I were in space. have a tiny walk around but my foot isn’t up to it so back to the hostel with water and frozen peas and laze about the common room/reception with my foot up  getting my five a day.

day 278, Rach Gia

After the previous night on the tiles, (actual fucking tiles, not the disco kind) I slept like the dead and woke up to my alarm doing it’s thing,  still tired,  somehow ended up watching the film ‘Valentine’s Day’ which continued our tradition of watching feel good films early in the morning before setting out to complete our somewhat pointless task of driving from the northern-most part of Vietnam to the southern-most part. After a bit of a palava finding 1a we were rolling, it was 51kms south to Nam Cam, we reached a roundabout with an option of left or right, followed the compass to the southern-most one, followed a tiny footpath and reached a river, there were no bridges! For authenticity’s sake we backtracked and took the other option for a kilometre and then the road stopped, we reached the end of Highway 1a, all 2301kms of it! There were no bridges so we had reached the southern-most point accessible by road! (we think there are ferries across as there are roads souther then Nam Cam but still, it’s bloody fantastic). To celebrate we stopped and had lunch and a coffee which were excellent and made our way back to Ca Mau. From Ca Mau we headed onto highway 63, a narrow bumpy road aiming for Rach Gia. About 40kms out of Rach Gia, shortly after a heavy downpour of rain, Michael gets a flat, we walk 2kms down the road to a mechanic but the bloke ain’t there, so his wife pumps up his tyre and points him down the road, where this is repeated once again. Finally we arrive at a mechanics with a mechanic in and the kid sets to work replacing the tube. He wasn’t very good and took a while to sort it, by this time it was pushing five and the sun was on it’s way down. Following highway 63 it suddenly stops and we have to take a ferry which meanders around different rivers and finally lands about 15mins after we left, then another 15km to Rach soi, we carry on up the road as the place is a shithole and end up in Rach Gia driving in the dark. Also my bike is conking out when not in gear, for fucks sake. We find a hotel, I’m glad to be off the bike as don’t like driving when it’s dark, shower and out to dinner which was really good, have a really nice pastry and back to the hotel room to chill and sleep.

oddly the only picture of me and Michael, right before we got shoo-ed on out of there by some blokes from a school/government building(?)

my compass pointing south toward the river, no more road!

where highway 1a ends, it changes to a gravel track and is heading east.  Martha and Martin taking centre stage here,  wonderful bikes

a random picture Michael took while I was busy being Mapman.  and yes, people actually wear those hats in real life

day 277 Ca Mau

Woken up around half six by Minh, most people of the family are already up and about, though doing nothing in particular. Minh takes us for breakfast, a noodle soup with offal which was really good and the bloke from yesterday who spoke a bit of English joins us. We then move round the square for coffee which is different to normal Vietnamese coffee, not milky but still very sweet. They say my bike isn’t ready till five, and after lots of waves and smiles from the locals back to Minh’s place and to a hammock. Michael gets called inside and five minutes later calls me in. Minh’s sat down with a pen and paper listing down what money we owe him. This is a bit of a shock to us, as every time we’ve had something (coffee, tea, food, football…) we’ve got out wallets out and money in hand and Minh has downright refused our money, sometimes forcibly. What’s more shocking is the amount is outrageous, nowhere near what it has cost. Immediately things take an uncomfortable turn and people are hovering about. Football has gone up from the 10,000 VND to 100,000VND, him going off to register ‘costs’ 200,000VND, he writes down 500,000vnd. (Later, after we sorted this, Michael said he wrote it down to begin with, Michael took out his wallet and handed him 500,000vnd, he saw more money in his wallet and started pushing for more.) We’ve been watching him pay for things whenever he has and we work out it is no more then 200,000vnd for the both of us. We get him to phone the bloke who studies banking at HCM and explains this is what he has spent on us and we need to pay it back. We finally settle on 500,000vnd for the both of us after some painful negotiations. Let me say this, it’s not the money that’s fucked me off at all, fuck the money, its £16 for the both of us for lunch, dinner, breakfast, coffee and sleeping, what’s pissed me off it’s just plain lies, deceitful, dishonest and damnright cunt-y-ness. I feel taken advantage of. It’s also ruined the brilliant, spontaneous, authentic, one-time experience,  eating with the men, playing with the kids, going through their English books, grandma popeye smiling her gums out while shelving my overgrown rat-tail Mohawk,  people being nice just for the sake of being nice has disappeared, it was really disappointing and created an uncomfortable atmosphere. I was so fucking angry. What frustrates me even more is both me and Michael were going to give him money as a token of gratitude for the wonderful time Minh had been showing us, we talked about it the night before and agreed on 200,000vnd each.  I go to check on my bike and it’s still being worked on, having to replace the front casing as it was fucked. Back to Minh’s place and have a walk around with Michael though it is too fucking hot. Back to Minh’s and they don’t really want anything to do with us, it’s amazing how much things have changed. We sit in the back and read in hammocks, I finish The Tiger’s Wife (which I have mixed feelings about, bits were bloody marvellous while others just bored and frustrated me, for a bit of chick lit it was far to attrition-al.)  About 3 Minh comes in to say my bike is ready. We go down, I ride Martha, she sounds so much better and back to Minh’s to pack up and get the fuck out of there. I can’t get out of there fast enough. There are also no pictures of these two days as the first day I was just enjoying it so much I didn’t want to bother or do anything to disrupt the groove, I wanted to take everything in, live how they lived and not highlight any differences between us, though after this morning I don’t want anything to do with them at all. I drive angry down the road 50kms to Ca Mau, instead of carrying on we’re both knackered (emotionally and physically) and want our private space, so find a hotel which was actually really nice, shower and have a good Vietnamese dinner (where all the people involved were lovely, smiling and patient, plus didn’t charge us whitey prices), then back to the air con’d room in nothing but a towel for sweets and movies!

day 276, about 50km north of Ca Mau

Another early start, a cloudy day for a change, Martha kicks second time and away we go. We elect to go out to 1a as we’re not convinced the road we’re on has bridges or a ferry. It’s a narrow road lined by banana trees and the sun is starting to burn through. We make good progress to Vinh Long, through to Than Lao and off toward Sang Tranh. We spot a sign for Ca Mau and folliw it, end up on a road called QLPH. After 3 and ½ hours on the bikes we stop off for lunch, order the headline dish from the sign and get laughed at. Out it comes and a mass of people have gathered to watch us eat and laugh. The food wasn’t that great plus I didn’t feel the included in the laughter, rather the cause. That and the food was shit and the coffee worse. We rushed the meal and thankfully Martha kicked first time as they were all watching and laughing and back on the road. About half an hour down the road something happens in my engine, something moves and it makes a horrible noise and stops abruptly. It did not sound good, it wouldn’t move and the kicker wouldn’t budge an inch. Michael drives off to find the nearest mechanic and three Vietnamese farmers stop to have a look at it. It’s fucked. Michael comes walking back down the road, he’s found a mechanic and he pushes me up the 500 metres. We’re greeted by the really friendly bloke and ushered into a hammock and given tea. There’s about twenty people all around under the shaded bamboo roof in hammocks and chairs chilling out, all smiling at us. After fifteen minutes the lead bloke beckons me and he pushes my bike through the tiny village to the mechanics. The mechanic starts dismantling it, five mins through and it’s clear it’s fucked. My new oil pump has stopped working and my piston has bashed my valve out of place and made mincemeat of my inner casing. It’s going to need an engine rebuild and the piston, valve and casing replaced. They quote me a hundred dollars and that it will take a day to fix, I don’t have any choice really. The bloke who pushed my bike over ushers us back to his house and does the sleeping gesture from charades. He’s quickly into a drawyer and picks out a folder and shows us pictures of a baby girl with a cleft lip. He then shows us and address in america and lassos one of the numerous kid running free and points to her. It turns out it’s his only kid, she’s about five, and the operation has done miracles. The bloke, whose name we find out is Minh through eloborate means, he doesn’t speak any English apart from “no!” or “ok”! He lives in a shack with a mud/concrete floor, through hand gestures and pen and paper he tells us that his wife left them, though he has family in three shacks around his. The kids are fascinated with us and are constantly coming and going. Three of them come round again and look nervously at us and start up a song;

“hello, hello, hello, my name is john
Hello john! Hello john! Hello john!
Hello! Hello! Hello!”

We then meet the grandma who’s ancient, she looks like popeye and has no teeth. There’s lots of smiles and touching. The kids then come rushing in with their English learning books and we go through them with the kids. It’s super basic stuff though you can tell they don’t understand what they’re saying, hence the ’Hello John’ song, which was a song to demonstrate how to say your name, and they gave the cartoon-ed man the name john, so they learnt the song as john instead of substituting their name in. The men come in, super excited and mime football, point to their watches and put five  finger up. Minh takes us round the side and pumps some water from the ground into a bowl and hands us some soap to wash, then back inside for the hammocks and read for a while. I’m still on The Tiger’s Wife. After a while Minh comes in and does the eating gesture, all three of us hop on his moped down the road to another shack for eating. Riding on his bike it starts to sink in how remote this place actually is, I don’t even know it’s name. Minh takes us round the back to the kitchen swarming in flies and points to offal and grean beans. We just smile and nod. Out comes this big plate of veg, offal and marinated pork on rice and it’s amazing. They bring out a case of beer and crack a few cans. There are also a few young women around and every time Minh points at them, raises his eyebrows and gives a cheeky grin and does, well ashamedly it can only be called the ‘pencil in the pencil sharpener’ hand gesture, he does this at every girl no matter if they are 14 or 40, and demands an answer. Five rolls around and we hop on motos and drive around 3km down the road, there’s not a lot around at all, just flatland, then out of no-where out pops a brand new 3g astro pitch. We’re met with looks of curiosity and smiles from the kids, all in English football kits and have a quick kick around with them then lots of high fives. The men kick them off and the proper game starts. It’s the blokes from Minh’s shack and us versus some teenagers, their pretty handy and Minh’s ramshackle bunch are proper shit. Within 3 mins it’s 5-0 so one of the kids swaps over and we start playing a bit of football and no longer one way traffic. Being almost on the Mekong it’s bloody muggy out and with the running I’m soaked through. We play for 2 hours and was great fun, I bloody missed football. Back on the ped’s to drive back to Minh’s shack, through the bugs and under the stars, have another bowl wash and out to the front hammocks under the bamboo roof. All the blokes do the sex gesture, the drinking gesture and point far into the distance. We just smile and shake our heads. It’s also amazing that they do this gesture and shout and point to their women and their women don’t seem to mind. They try and teach us a card game but it doesn’t make any sense. Another kid who knows the tiniest bit of English appears, reels off a couple of sentences to applause and is carted off again. Minh takes us the half minute across the road to the village for a nighttime drink, accompanied by equal staring and smiles. Green tea for me and Michael, coffee for him and his little five year old girl (who we guess thanks to her operation in US is treated like a princess here). It’s eight in the evening and this coffee is strong. We meet this teenager who is studying Finance at Ho Chi Minh and he speaks good English. We chat pleasantries for a while then Minh interrupts and it’s bedtime.  Back to the shack and we’re shown the sleeping arrangements, his shack consists of one room with a bit cordoned off, both of us are sharing a tiled table and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever touched, let alone slept on. It’s covered by a mossie net and a little fan. Minh leaves a hideous fluorescent light on and the little tv blaring away till sleep scuttles me away to a very on/off, hot/cold sweaty unforgettable sleep. I don’t know where I am and I’m relying on the kindness of strangers, it’s the most authentic Vietnamese experience yet, and while not the most comfortable, I’m happy I’m here.

dat 275, Mo Cay

Was a bit of a struggle to get out of bed this morning at seven, it was so nice in the air con’d room plus the bed and pillows were of a cracking standard. Nonetheless dragged myself up and packed, checked out of the room after a little faff with the passports (they couldn’t find them and wanted the reciept for taking them in, despite them having the carbon copy and we could see them in the box, it still took five minutes, was painful.) Anywho another lovely day, Martha still is whining about something or other though seems to run ok once she gets up to speed. It was a arduous chug along the 1a, a big bastard of a road with lots of trucks and buses. We were making good progress retracing our route which we took yesterday, reluctantly past the place where we stopped for lunch which served the best coffee so far toward Ho Chi Minh. It’s starting to sink in how far we have come on Martha and Martin, don’t know where it’s gone! On google maps we found a brand new road which wasn’t in our atlas which we went off in search for, ended up on a narrow brand new paved road through an orchard, which despite it not being the correct road was fucking amazing. We backtracked and resigned ourselves back to the 1a. We stopped off for lunch and had bun thi nuong plus a coffee, Michael reckoned the coffee was better then yesterdays, and the noodle dish was outstanding. Also, unfortunately I think, people down south are so much friendlier then those up north, you’re not a walking dollar sign or a pain, and they seem happy to see you which is always nice, smiles make the world go round. Back out to pound the road and as we encroach on HCMC you can smell the traffic, it comes out of nowhere and suddenly it’s a bloody slog of a drive.  Vietnamese moto riders love nothing more then overtaking someone and then just sitting in the space between you and the next person, however if there’s a clear road they just slow down and sit on the side, it’s so frustrating. After my two mishaps I’m being super careful. We opted for the route around HCM instead of through it, but it was still chock-a-block with trucks and bikes. It carried on with the busyness after HCM, and didn’t clear up till we got off 1a onto QL60. It was a tough three hours of riding, the sun was bloody hot, and in jeans, a coat plus my buff pulled up to the bottom of my sunnies to protect my sunburn I was melting. Luckily past HCM the sun took a break behind a big cloud, plus crossing over the Mekong a couple of times on what were damn impressive bridges it was cooling down. We went past Ban Tre and carried on going toward Tra Vinh, though that was too far away and settled for Mo Cay. Struggled to find a hotel in the small town, had to do three up and downs before seeing a Vietnamese sign for one down an alley, checked in with a room each as they only have double beds, Michael took Martin to get his gear shifter tightened, I showered and took a wander round town. Got a Banh Boo, a dumpling with quail eggs, some sort of berry/seed and minced meat, was brilliant before checking out the town. It’s full of people and not a lot in which is cool, people were shouting greeting from their houses while eating dinner and this girl who studied in Manchester for a bit came and spoke to me. Rendezvoused back with Michael and went scouting for dinner. We operate on the people power principle, and ended up at a one dish plastic table restaurant, had…sorry, no fucking idea what it was, though was really good. Had an ice cream and found a bar which was showing the Liverpool arsenal game, had a seat and a drink watching it chatting away. It’s strange that I feel more comfortable in this town and having a better time then in Mui Ne, which looking back on it was a bit of a disappointment, over developed (including onto the beach, which is supposed to be the focal point). Had a lovely time and back to the hotel to crash out. Tomorrow we are aiming to get as south as possible in Vietnam, another early start armed with my compass till we can’t get any souther!

Day 274, Mui Ne

Had nothing to get up for so didn’t, it was boiling hot yesterday so caved in and splashed out for the air con remote and toned it down to a fresh 17 degrees. Woke at leisure and somehow ended up watching Dickie Roberts, Former Child star… before having a look at what there is to do in Mui Ne and electing to go to Ta Cu mountain, about 50kms away. On the bikes (Martha still isn’t sounding too healthy) and find our way to highway 1a in search of the mountain. After about 50 clicks we had driven past a mountain though hadn’t seen a sign, so we stopped off for some lunch and a coffee (Caphe Sua Da in Vietnamese!) which was probably the best yet, got some directions and found it ten minutes later. Paid our monies, got in a little golf cart for a lift to the cable car (it’s a two minute cable car ride or 3 hour strenuous walk in the heat, cable car won). The cable car was really cool, similar to a ski lift one, though offered a brilliant view for miles and miles. Once done walked up the steep steps, turned a corner, up some more steps and we see this BBBIIIIGGGG Buddha lying down. It’s a new white (just been painted) and 49metres wide. Walk back down the steps, take the cable car down to the bottom, back on the bikes to ride back, stop off for a look-see at some boats and chill out in the pool reading a bit. In the evening go out for some dinner, have a really nice seafood meal with milk, back to the hotel to chill out and call it a night early as early start in the morning, hoping to get as south as possible toward Ca Mau, going past Ho Chi Minh.

day 273, Mui Ne

On the bikes by 8:45, another great day. Rode for an hour, then realised we missed our turn. We wanted to take the brand new road, we turned off more out of hope then expectation and it wasn’t brand new, it was still being built. It was 6km of stop and start, good road and no road, then we found out it was the correct road and the road got bloody good. Riding  through trees and past lakes, doing a mountain pass it offered one of the best and farthest views ever, I don’t think I‘ve seen further. We stopped for lunch, pointed to what two blokes were eating and smiled, then one of the blokes started talking to us. He was smashed, there was  the remains of a crate of tiger around the floor, and he spoke minimal English, had the usual conversation, name, where you from, what you do etc. He kept pestering us to a point of annoyance, though when it came to paying we got the money for the girl but he already paid her, outright refusing our protests, what a nice drunk bloke. Carrying on down Martha started whining about something, and started cutting out. Pushed it up hill to a mechanic who fiddled with it for 40mins, and she started again but is still whining. It was bloody boiling and I could feel my nose burning, despite my factor 50. Had a look at a couple of hotels, what used to be backpacker havens have all turned into resorts, so we end up at the first one. Straight to the shower and then the pool, for a bit of pool badminton, as good as it sounds. We take a walk for dinner, going down the strip of Mui Ne. not really a big fan, it’s supposed to be less of a resort town then Nha Trang, but it is full of neon signs, Russians and touts. Walk for ages down the street, end up at an Indian and have a very tasty meal, before walking the miles back and chilling out.

(again internet is shit but photos will come)

ay 272, Dalat

Treated ourselves to an alarm-free morning, leisurely checked out things to do in Dalat and opted for a day of chasing waterfalls. On the bikes around midday, first off was Datania. The waterfall itself was average though the appeal was the toboggan (they called it a luge) down to the waterfall, it was pretty fun, however the great wall toboggan still tops it. We walked back up the slope, hopped on the bikes and went off in search of the Elephant waterfall. We had google mapped and could find nothing, we just had a vague direction. It was another sunny day (it’s not getting boring yet), the scenery was brilliant and we didn’t know where we were going. We arrived at Ankroet lake, which was up north, whereas we wanted west. We went back and carried on going. We stopped off for lunch and a coffee and carried on in search of the falls. We gave ourselves a limit of 15kms down the road, having already come 20 (and the waterfall is 27kms away from Dalat), we reach our marker and drive back. On the road back we see the sign, take the turning and see the falls! Their pretty damn cool, Michael got a ankle deep in mud looking for a better view, we both got soaked going underneath the falls fully clothed and we climbed up some tree roots going up a rock, was fun. Driving back we got our oil changed, a wasp stung me and a woman turned into me while I was overtaking her, we brushed each other, or morelike my leg brushed her exhaust though not too bad. After a shower we went and saw the crazy house, a weird project by the daughter of a communist revolutionary, like something out of Nightmare of Elm Street, full of winding staircases and labyrinths, was bloody bizarre. Out to dinner for some Venison with lemon grass and chilli, back to the hotel to chill out, plan our next ten days (we need to be in HCM by the 10th to sell the bikes), find somewhere to stay in Mui Ne and how to get there (we’re going to attempt to take a brand new road through a national park, which according to our map doesn’t exist and google maps say only half of it exists) and to sleep as knackered.

day 271, Da Lat

Set our alarms to head off early to Dalat, though somehow ended up watching Morning Glory, a feel good film starring Rachel McAdams with Harrison Ford stealing the show, and I really enjoyed it. Was feeling a bit better and were on the road by ten. It was another sunny day and the progress was good till about 100kms out of Dalat where the road disintegrated for 25kms, took us two hours and with an upset stomach wasn’t fun. I got my mud guard tightened as it came loose and stopped off for lunch and coffee before cracking on. I also got attacked by a group of red ants while having a piss in some shrubbery. We passed from Lak Lake which was pretty cool. Riding along a massive cloud came out of nowhere, and from being too hot we were soaked to the skin in proper pissed off rain. Had to dig our ponchos out and it almost flooded the roads in less then ten minutes before stopping as quickly as it started, then the sun came out. It seemed to take forever to do the final 40kms to dalat, though once navigated the crazy traffic and road lay out, found a hotel and chilled out. Went for a western fix for dinner which was nice, with a milkshake, then got a litre of milk (it’s a specialty here!) plus a cake and chilled out in the evening planning tomorrow’s activities!

ps, no pictures atm as internet is shit here, will go back and upload some when get the chance

day 270, buon ma thout

Our big day plans disappeared as I was feeling rough again and spent half the night awake. Slept in till ten and revised our plans to reach Buon Ma Thout. It was a scorching day outside and was rolling along, quite busy traffic and had a slight hairy moment where a truck without any prior indication or signalling attempted a screaming u-ey whilst I was overtaking him. We both emergency stopped so no harm done. Stupidly I rolled my sleeves up and have an attractive square of red skin on either forearm. Carried on to get most of the ride out the way then stopped for lunch. We went to a food place where there was a five year old watching monster’s inc, and he was transfixed. We said hello to him numerous times, got in his eye line and even stood aside the tele though we weren’t there, he was away with Sulley and Mike. Went next door and had a good meal plus a coffee then we carried onward to Buon Ma Thout. Somehow going round a toll bridge I didn’t see the end of a boom pole and hit it with my arm, the thing broke though just carried on riding and hoping for the best. We arrived at Buon Ma Thout and found our hotel, pretty tired and dehydrated. Went out for a coffee as this is the coffee capital of Vietnam (and Vietnam is the second biggest exporter of coffee only to Brazil), and it was fantastic. On the way back stopped off at a supermarket and got loads of water and lemon juice, plus sunblock and moisturiser and sat in the hotel for a bit watching Titan A.E. and then went out for Com Hen, a dish of rice, clams, peanuts, sesame seeds, pork fat, shrimp sauce, salad, chilli sauce and clam broth, and was decent. We’re trying to have a specialty from each place we visit and this was it. We also had a drink which sunshine pioneered, the milk, yoghurt and suger thing, and it was fab. Back to the hotel to watch Bear Grylls highlights and go to bed, to DaLat tomorrow!

day 269, Kon Tum

Did not want to get up this morning, still felt rough and knackered though me and Michael dragged ourselves down to breakfast. Had a marvellous meal and plenty of pancakes, bid farewell to the daves’ and got on our bikes. It’s over 700kms to Da lat and we want to make it in two days. We found our way to Highway 1 which was busy and shit, lots of people walking out in front of you with planks of wood, before turning into 14e and then onto 14, the Ho Chi Minh Trail! Martha was running well, it was a pleasure to be out and about on the bike in the sun and the warm and the dry (incidentally I will never take being dry for granted from now on,  I was never aware how much I liked being dry.) 14e kept on going for what seemed like ages, before we reached 14 which was alright. We went through a national park which offered stunning scenery, then stopped off a waterfall by the side of the road where two other whitey’s were, they were Scottish and were on a Minsk. Stopped for lunch and had some Mi Quan, wasn’t as good as where it was in Danang. Carried on and it started raining so broke out the dashing yellow poncho, works a treat. It stopped raining and we hadn’t got as far as we thought we would, so set our sights on Kon Tum. We got off the bikes at six, having left at ten, only done 279kms, be a big day tomorrow. We checked into a hotel, did a bit of research for food and found out that here has two specialty, wild game which is now illegal from over hunting and Gio La, so we went off for that. It was a 3km walk and found our place. Gio La is a tray full of leaves, over 20 leaves and herbs, which you get a bit of each leaf and herbs into a big leaf, then add a prawn, some pork, some goat fat, salt, pepper, chilli and a sesame sauce and eat it in one. As Michael put it “we ate the rainforest”. It was decent, then walked back and past our hotel in search of a supermarket that we had seen. On the way walked past a few street cafes with inpromptu tele’s showing the spurs-arsenal game, got some water and some cakes at the supermarket and took a seat on the street to watch the football. Was a really good game and a good atmosphere, was about 50people at our street place watching and most were arsenal fans so all was good in the world. Finished watching that and went to bed knackered, struggling to write this. Also due to my tiredness-things I have missed;1, a man carrying a fucking slab of ice on his motorbike on the motorway, 2, a woman carrying a parrot on a bike with no cage, 3, a little toddler threw a rock at me when I was driving past.

268, Hoi An

Not feeling great this morning, had some breakfast then just felt awful, so while the others went out to the beach I stayed in the room chilling out, though before they left we all got tractor-beamed by Diary of a Wimpy Kid, don‘t ask me how. About three I wandered into the old town and had a walk around, I’m not enchanted with Hoi An, read some book, had some amazing cheesecake and cau lai again, back to the hotel to chill out and read, went out for a really nice dinner with the dave’s and Michael, to a bar to watch some football and have a quiet beer before going to bed. Moving on tomorrow to Dalat.

Day 267, Hoi an

(yes I’ve been drinking)

I had a shit nights sleep where alternatively I was hot and cold, read a bit (I’m a hundred pages through The Tiger’s wife) then had breakfast waiting for Michael to wake. Once done we shared some spring rolls before packing our shit up and loading the bikes up, driving down the road (less then 30kms!!!!) in the heat. Just a couple of ks out of Hoi an Michael gets a flat tyre, so we stop off at mechanics run by what seems like kids (in fact they are kids, the oldest less then 15) gets sorted and we find our hotel of choice. Walking in we see two blokes we met in Hue for 10mintues, the owner calls them down and we share a room as it’s cheaper. they are the Daves, Dave and Dave, from Buckinghamshire and sound lads, on an 11 month trip and proper dudes. One of the dave’s is on a no-shave-a-asia programme which he‘s persevering with despite looking a bit shady. We mooch around in the room sorting shit out then head out for lunch. We go for a place recommended for a local traditional meal called Lau Cai, another noodle dish though it was brilliant. We walked back in the heat, both the Daves got on the back of our bikes and we went to the beach, swam and read, had a chat, more swimming and drove home when it got cold. The evening after a shower we went for dinner, had  set meal which was reasonably average before heading back, playing some cards and drinking, the hotel displayed a bit of cuntiness about it being five past nine (and the shuttle bus parked outside finishes at 9)so they refused to take us into town, we drank a couple more and walked to twon looking for a bar. Went past one which was empty then found one which was full of people. A couple of beers and jager bombs later, lost a game of fives so I had to chat to some girls who turned out to be Norwegian (name’s being Ingrid, Hilary, Tina and hedgwig (I think), they’re studying over, drunkenly I told them about my blog and said they’d get a mentiion) they left after a bit no-where to carry on drinking or dancing so walked home and writing this watching star trek, tomorrow going back ot the bar for fingers crossed some dancing this time and bed as my speleling is all over the p;lace.

Day 266, Da Nang

Had a glorious night’s sleep in our luxury accommodation before hopping on the bikes and going in search of Hoa’s place, a guest-house complex recommended as the backpacker hang out. We were looking for this place yesterday though gave up on it, though we found it after the help of some locals. Hoa himself, as well as his wife, is a proper dude. Da Nang is going through a huge development process with ostensibly sized resorts springing up which is just obscene, though Hoa’s place is squeezed in-between two sprouting complexes, has a bit of a run down feel to it, the rooms are basic but it’s great. They have a tab system where you just help yourself or order something and you write it down on a notepad, we had lunch and a pineapple yoghurt shake which was excellent, then walked the fifteen seconds to the beach. While not the nicest beach in the world, China Beach was cool, it’s fucking huge, stretching for about 30kms or something silly like that, and it was almost deserted. We played a bit of football with a Norwegian bloke, went for a swim in the waves and laid down reading. It was another grand day which was brilliant. Hunger struck so me and Michael got on Martha and went off in search of Mi Quan. After filling with petrol (I was dangerously low) we found a spot recommended and got two bowls of Mi Quaun tom thit, a pork noodle dish, though different to Pho, different noodles and also a spicy tomato sauce thing and it was brilliant. Still peckish we went off in search of a bakery for a cheeky snack, then back to Hoa’s to chill for  a bit. At seven every evening they have ‘family dinner’, where everyone goes to the common area which had dining tables and chairs and has dinner together. There’s no menu, Hoa’s wife just brings out food and everyone shares, I had a really nice time. It’s really nice to have communal dinners where everything is in the middle and people are talking away, it’s how dinners should be. Once that was done, naturally our table was the last to finish eating, had another shake then me and Michael went for a walk along the beach, stopping to sit and lie down looking at the stars (as you could see them(!)) then heading back for an early night.

to my left...

to my right